It is funny because every single month at least two times out the mouth I say i am finish. Then i go right back at square one but today I am serious. Like why should I Love one person Give them all my Love to one individual that is giving their love to many?Like dont get me wrong he do show he care. Maybe he is too real that's the problem? Have you every felt like your Giving yourself to someone and you feel they can do better?Or maybe I am asking for too much cause I show my actions but i never said how i felt out my mouth?So can i really feel this way? Maybe he feel he is showing his love through his actions? But i feel i am showing my love through my actions as well.Then he wants me to tell him how i feel i am more afraid than shy. The reason i would say afraid is because maybe i dont want to tell him how i feel and then look at the shit he do. Than for me to express how i feel and he is the same person? Like i will admit he is spoil he know he can have whatever he wants maybe that's where it should stop? Like i was a very stern individual and then i became submissive when it comes to him. I am not Submissive at all I am going to school for Management so you see i love the leadership role not really into taking orders.*smile* It kills me at times when I want to walk away for good he do like the littlest thing and make me want to stay and hold on. But who likes crying though. Yesterday i stayed up until like after 5 she ding tears cause i am like this guy belongs to everyone so why should I still even continue with him. Then i do blame his uncle and Father but i also feel if he really want to make a change he can. Maybe i should give him credit for not having sex for 1yr. Like i feel when it comes to guys they prey on the weak. When i mean weak the one that are more Vulnerable. Like i wont lie some shit he say to people he wouldn't say to me because i would give a screw face and he would say he is just playing. It is like i put up a semi front but deep down inside my heart is saying something else. Like i feel if i say how i really feel he will really take advantage of it.Sorry for not being like every other girl I cant be your slave it is just not me i was not brought up like that.Stuff that makes me hold on he littlest things : if i text him and i say he dont love me when i ask him something he responds if he dont respond to anything else; for the fact he gave me a shout out in a song; pregnancy possibilities; say he dont text me cause he dont like missing me when he on the road;out of no where asked to take a pic and kiss me in front of the concert arena;im always the first person he ask if anything;ask me to share him food like a wife;when he used to call me out of the blue and text me foolishness;knowing him since 05;when he first and second day he was on twitter he came out of no where mentioning my name and girls asked who i was and they didnt want to hear stuff and he told them to cork they ears and cover there eyes; God sister say i remind him of a girl he liked alottt; My 2Hour Preach from Uncle telling me what it is; it isnt stopping me from living or doing what i have to do; he notice when i am sad he only smile for a bit then goes off and is quiet; acts real shy around me and always grining up his teeth like i grin up mines; just chill and relax with him without having sex; even though i massage his head with my knuckles lol he dont ask anyone but me;love layin next to him and kissing his body as he sleep and play with his hair; how could i forget the most recent when i ignored him and he was emily car he told her the car smelled like me with love in his eyes; that he isnt afraid to do what he do calls me out to claim territory ;Tiannia and emily and even nisha saying not to give up; got cursed out many times and still standing strong there are many more things but i will leave it like the most recent which makes ME still wanna hold on But I am ready to walk away i just need the proper support
THIS IS HOW I USED TO FEEL MAN
HOW I KINDA FEEL
